Cruise Problem With Other Passengers...How to deal?

[Sandi]

My husband and I took a cruise on a major line last year. This was something special we had planned since when we were married we really didn't get a honeymoon.



All was well until we met our tablemates for dinner. There was a single fellow, two older ladies traveling together, and a family of three. The family was the problem. This family consisted of two adults in their late 50s and their daughter who was in her late 20s or early 30s who clearly had some kind of mental problem.



The first night, the daughter (I will call her "Katie") threw a fit when her entree was not in the first group that was delivered. She actually reached across the table and screamed at me, and then put her fist into my vegstables, grabbed some and shoved them in her mouth. The parents did NOTHING. They didn't even apologize. When her food came, she settled down and ate, but the father told the waiter to make sure her food came out first in the future.



After that night, my husband went to the Matre'd and asked if we could be reseated. He explained his concerns but was told all seatings were full. The Matre'd did promise to speak to the family privately and see if there was anything they could do to make the daughter more comfortable. So, we went back the next night.



This time, things were worse, and our other tablemates were not present, so it was just us and this family. My husband ordered a bottle of wine for the two of us before the family arrived. When they did, Katie grabbed the bottle and poured herself some in her water glass. Her mother laughed, but didn't apologize. She then went on to brag about how they take Katie everywhere with them, and how people are so rude to her and not sympathetic to her condition.



Dinner was served and Katie grew impatient when the busboy didn't keep her soda filled to the brim. She would take a sip or two, then fuss until he came to refill it. Again, her parents pretended this didn't happen. Then the entrees came out...the waiter was careful to bring Katie's first, and then the rest of us waited, and waited. When ours finally came out, they were cold. Katie thought this was hysterical and threw her garnish at my husband, leaving a nasty smear mark on his shirt. We excused ourselves, left our food, and walked out of the restaurant.



After getting something to eat from the poolside buffett, and missing out on the filet mignon that I really wanted, we went to the Pursuer's desk to see if anything could be done. He again said that seatings were full, and that we were not the first to complain about this family. He offered to send our meals to our cabin, and we told him we'd give it one more day. He also said that he would speak with the family.



The following night was the last straw. Katie's family was already seated when we arrived, and the table was made considerably smaller (I guess the others were just not coming back). Katie was seated next to me and her father. When the salad arrived, her mother made a snotty remark about people who don't understand special needs children. I smiled and bit my tongue. Then Katie decided that she had had enough of her salad and dumped it on my lap. She laughed as I nearly broke into tears as my gown was drenched in olive oil! My husband and I returned to our cabin and called the Pursuer again. He said he'd send our meal up right away, get my gown cleaned, and apologized. I begged him to find us another table, another seating, another dining room for the last four nights. He said we were his "top priority."



Unfortunately, because this was a cruise during the holiday season, it was packed. He wasn't able to do that for us, and the rest of the week we ate dinner in our cabin. It was quite a disappointment from the cruise-dining room atmosphere we really wanted.



Incidentally, we spoke with our former tablemates. They had all just decided to find other places on the ship to eat. And one final note, on the following day at sea, we saw Katie at the pool screaming at small children because she wanted to use the waterslide, and was told she had to wait. Nothing was done about this, either--by her parents or the cruise staff.



I don't know that the cruise line could have done anything for us, or if there are any guidelines on cruise ships for guest behavior. I understand that Katie had problems, but it is clear that her parents just let her behave however she'd like--throwing food, screaming, etc--without any regard for anyone else on the ship.



Talk about a "dream vacation." And I'm sure someone out there will say how difficult it is to have an adult child with special needs, but I'm not faulting Katie for being disabled. I'm faulting her parents for her atrocious behavior, since they ignored it consistently.



Any suggestions? Any way to prevent this from happening again?

[IslandJacks]

Hello Sandi,



I am so sorry about your terrible dining experience!!! I have been an agent for almost 20 years and your story is one of the worst dining experiences I have ever heard about. The only advice I have is to avoid all Holiday sailings, go with friends and book a private table, and/or book cruises that have open dining options.



The family should have given their daughter more discipline when she was growing up. Even with a mental handicap, most of these children CAN learn good manners. Since they didn't, they should have made arrangements for her to stay home in her own environment and not subjected you and other passengers to her bad behavior. If they booked through an agent (and if the agent was informed about the daughter's handicap), they probably would have had a private table and you would not have had this disappointing experience.



I think you have a good case to get some type of remuneration (discount on next cruise) from the cruise line. Contact the cruise line customer service line and tell every detail (please include names of staff members who you complained to) and see what can be done. There is no excuse for this!

[susanliber]

I work with disabled folks....have been doing it for nearly 25 years. We are taking several residences on a cruise next month. None of our folks would ever act this way - please do not judge all handicapped people by this.....my ladies are very pleasant and would have been good company for your table.

[Jason's Storm]

If I were uncivalized I would of hit her parents and pushed Katie overboard. Being civalized, I would handcuffed her to a pole.:)



~JS

[cfsnco]

Originally posted by Jason's Storm
If I were uncivalized I would of hit her parents and pushed Katie overboard. *Being civalized, I would handcuffed her to a pole.:)



~JS



my thoughts exactly. mentally ill or not they paid for their cruise. handcuff both parents AND "katie".

[Bert oconnor]

Was this problem ever resolved? Did your travel Agent get involved? This is indeed a disappointing vacation, please let us know if you were helped.

[Sandi]

I made the mistake of booking the cruise online. Next time I will get an agent! I heard back from the cruise line, though. They said they were sorry and that the parents are responsible--not them.



This is from the short email I got back:

We do want to assure you that we are

concerned about the type of situations you have described and are taking

additional measures to prevent a recurrence in the future. Additionally,

we rely on the guardian or chaperons onboard to provide supervision.

Again, we sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you experienced.

[Bert oconnor]

The staff should have done a lot better for you. The Staff Captain should have been involved. Good Luck on working with the cruise line.

[K-k-k-katie, K-k-k-katie]

A good maitre'd would have informed Katie's parents that they are not welcome in the dining room due to her disruptive nature but that his staff would be more than happy to make alternative dining arrangements for them, such as bringing the food directly to them in their stateroom, or allowing Katie's family to occupy their own table in the buffet area. He missed out on a big tip! And I'm sure Katie's parent's failed to tip him or the servers - as anyone in the hospitality industry will tell you, parents who fail to see the problems caused by their children never tip those who are inconvenienced by them.

[silver cloud]

OH my gosh.



I would have returned the favor and dumped MY food in her lap, followed by my drink. Why is it that people think they do not have to discipline their children, special needs or not.



I was appalled when I read your post, absolutely appalled. THEY should have removed them from the dining room immediately.



I sure hope you cruise again so that you can have a better dining experience. The evening meal should be a relaxing event. Shame on them!!



Mary



PS: I almost always get a table for 2. I prefer it.

[joyceandrews]

I am with Katie and Silver Cloud. They should have been banned from the dining room and made to eat in their cabin or at the buffet. NOT YOU.

[chriselliott]

Sandi, if you can e-mail me (you're not registered on the forums) I will investigate this.

[ajaynejr]

A lot of blame goes to the ship crew.



You might have been wise to ask for compensation on the spot for each and every incident. Maybe even held back all small payments including tips.



Asking for compensation here is primarily intended to get management to act to correct the problem.



Travel hints:

http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/travel.htm

[Guest]

Sandi should print ALL these postings and send them to the Cruise Line.

It seems to me that the crew inconveienced everyone EXCEPT the guilty ones!!!

[pmerk]

I don't know that the cruise line could have done anything for us, or if there are any guidelines on cruise ships for guest behavior. I understand that Katie had problems, but it is clear that her parents just let her behave however she'd like--throwing food, screaming, etc--without any regard for anyone else on the ship.



Talk about a "dream vacation." And I'm sure someone out there will say how difficult it is to have an adult child with special needs, but I'm not faulting Katie for being disabled. I'm faulting her parents for her atrocious behavior, since they ignored it consistently.



Any suggestions? Any way to prevent this from happening again/[/quote]

All I can say, is the cruise ship should have had the family eat in their room. I am certainly supportive of special needs people. However, others should not suffer because of their behavior. It was inappropriate for the family to take their child on a cruise if they could not control her. Peter

[jerzigal]

Sandi,



I've been cruising since 1975, and while we've never encountered anyone with Katie's problems, we have had some humdingers as tablemates.



We've sailed on ships that were filled to capacity, yet never once have we been forced to stay at a table where we were not happy. The problem with moving, though, is that invariably, you run into the former tablemates, and you feel uncomfortable. Consequently, unless we're with our own group, we now request (and usually are granted) a table for two.



As someone else mentioned, most cruise ships now have alternate dining. Some of these choices, such as the Pinnacle Grill on HAL ships and Le Bistro on NCL ships, are quite nice. Some of them charge an extra fee, but in our experience, they're well worth it.



I don't know that the cruise line necessarily owes you remuneration. However, I do feel they owe you a bit more than an apology.



I hope this incident doesn't dissuade you from cruisng again.



********Judi in Hamilton NJ********

Wishing you Calm Skies and Blue Seas

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Sandi
I made the mistake of booking the cruise online. Next time I will get an agent! I heard back from the cruise line, though. They said they were sorry and that the parents are responsible--not them.



This is from the short email I got back:

We do want to assure you that we are

concerned about the type of situations you have described and are taking

additional measures to prevent a recurrence in the future. Additionally,

we rely on the guardian or chaperons onboard to provide supervision.

Again, we sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you experienced.

Come to think about it I muyst disagree with both paragraphs.



The cruise line is much more capable of enforcing order than the aggrieved person. When aggrieved persons try to enforce order instead the results are often far worse.



With this in mind, compensation is due.

[maallen]

Next time you book a cruise, be sure they offer open seating. I have never liked that on some cruises guests are required to eat at the same table every night, regardless of how they feel about it. Originally posted by Sandi@Apr 3 2005, 05:12 PM
My husband and I took a cruise on a major line last year. This was something special we had planned since when we were married we really didn't get a honeymoon.
All was well until we met our tablemates for dinner. There was a single fellow, two older ladies traveling together, and a family of three. The family was the problem. This family consisted of two adults in their late 50s and their daughter who was in her late 20s or early 30s who clearly had some kind of mental problem.
The first night, the daughter (I will call her "Katie") threw a fit when her entree was not in the first group that was delivered. She actually reached across the table and screamed at me, and then put her fist into my vegstables, grabbed some and shoved them in her mouth. The parents did NOTHING. They didn't even apologize. When her food came, she settled down and ate, but the father told the waiter to make sure her food came out first in the future.
After that night, my husband went to the Matre'd and asked if we could be reseated. He explained his concerns but was told all seatings were full. The Matre'd did promise to speak to the family privately and see if there was anything they could do to make the daughter more comfortable. So, we went back the next night.
This time, things were worse, and our other tablemates were not present, so it was just us and this family. My husband ordered a bottle of wine for the two of us before the family arrived. When they did, Katie grabbed the bottle and poured herself some in her water glass. Her mother laughed, but didn't apologize. She then went on to brag about how they take Katie everywhere with them, and how people are so rude to her and not sympathetic to her condition.
Dinner was served and Katie grew impatient when the busboy didn't keep her soda filled to the brim. She would take a sip or two, then fuss until he came to refill it. Again, her parents pretended this didn't happen. Then the entrees came out...the waiter was careful to bring Katie's first, and then the rest of us waited, and waited. When ours finally came out, they were cold. Katie thought this was hysterical and threw her garnish at my husband, leaving a nasty smear mark on his shirt. We excused ourselves, left our food, and walked out of the restaurant.
After getting something to eat from the poolside buffett, and missing out on the filet mignon that I really wanted, we went to the Pursuer's desk to see if anything could be done. He again said that seatings were full, and that we were not the first to complain about this family. He offered to send our meals to our cabin, and we told him we'd give it one more day. He also said that he would speak with the family.
The following night was the last straw. Katie's family was already seated when we arrived, and the table was made considerably smaller (I guess the others were just not coming back). Katie was seated next to me and her father. When the salad arrived, her mother made a snotty remark about people who don't understand special needs children. I smiled and bit my tongue. Then Katie decided that she had had enough of her salad and dumped it on my lap. She laughed as I nearly broke into tears as my gown was drenched in olive oil! My husband and I returned to our cabin and called the Pursuer again. He said he'd send our meal up right away, get my gown cleaned, and apologized. I begged him to find us another table, another seating, another dining room for the last four nights. He said we were his "top priority."
Unfortunately, because this was a cruise during the holiday season, it was packed. He wasn't able to do that for us, and the rest of the week we ate dinner in our cabin. It was quite a disappointment from the cruise-dining room atmosphere we really wanted.
Incidentally, we spoke with our former tablemates. They had all just decided to find other places on the ship to eat. And one final note, on the following day at sea, we saw Katie at the pool screaming at small children because she wanted to use the waterslide, and was told she had to wait. Nothing was done about this, either--by her parents or the cruise staff.
I don't know that the cruise line could have done anything for us, or if there are any guidelines on cruise ships for guest behavior. I understand that Katie had problems, but it is clear that her parents just let her behave however she'd like--throwing food, screaming, etc--without any regard for anyone else on the ship.
Talk about a "dream vacation." And I'm sure someone out there will say how difficult it is to have an adult child with special needs, but I'm not faulting Katie for being disabled. I'm faulting her parents for her atrocious behavior, since they ignored it consistently.
Any suggestions? Any way to prevent this from happening again?
193

[travel]

Sandi,

I'm so sorry about your experience. It just sounds horrible. I am a travel coordinator for a non-profit, so I hear lots of stories, but this is one of the worst. The parents, the child, and the cruise staff ALL behaved despicably!! I think I would definitely find a new cruise line!!! I hope by now you have e-mailed Chris Elliott. He is probably your best bet at this point in the game.

The cruise industry is booming, and personally, I think they don't really care about their guests anymore. Some are worse than others, but I think there is a general view that if they don't get your money, they're getting someone else's, so they don't make an effort to keep you on their ships.

Here's what I think should have happened: they should have spoken to a group of passengers at an individual table of 3 or 4 and given them some kind of incentive to move to your table, allowing the badly-behaved to sit alone. This would have allowed everyone to eat in the dining room, where they wanted to eat, and still allowed everyone to have a good time. If that didn't work, then they definitely should have confined that family to their cabin or refunded their money and sent them home (yes, they can do that--I've done it myself). We recently were on a trip where a gentleman was suffering from Parkinson's. Apparently, at home he didn't have a lot of problems, but the long trip and a trip and fall shortly after arrivng in Europe left him in a state where he couldn't do anything for himself and his wife wasn't able to help him. It was a small river ship, with no activities like a big ship, and much of our time on tours. The decision was made to confine him to his cabin for the sake of the staff and the other passengers. Your cruise staff should have done the same. Unfortunately, however, sometimes you have to tell them what to do...not just "fix it," but "fix it this way." It shouldn't be that way, but if your preferred solution doesn't work, give them another one. Most of them are smart enough to figure one out for themselves, but may not have the interest. The squeakiest wheel gets the grease, so if you're really unhappy (and truly feel justified), be really squeaky!!

But let's be honest here--you weren't the only ones to be abused. The staff was clearly abused, as well, and if it didn't care about its passengers, the cruise line should have cared enough about its staff to solve this problem.

If you've contacted Chris E., again, I think he's your best bet, and you should let him handle it, but if you haven't, then go back to the cruise line. Ask for a supervisor, and another supervisor, and another until you get what you want. "We're sorry but it wasn't our fault" just isn't good enough. It wasn't their fault, but they should have (and could have) fixed it--if they had been so inclined. Send them a real letter (not an e-mail), with a copy of the e-mail some low-level customer service rep trying to get rid of you sent, and tell them why that's just not enough. Then tell them what you want in return for your trouble, and be realistic. They're probably not going to give you a free cruise, but they might give you 25% off, depending upon how much you spent the first time, and how often you cruise (they will probably make an assessment of how much they will potentially make from you over your lifetime).

Finally, and this probably won't be my most popular statement, I'm fully aware that purchasing online can be cheaper than going through a travel agent, but at times like this, I'm sure you see the benefit of having an advocate, which is what an agent is supposed to be (and granted, they all are not), and how the extra $300 per person would have been worth it right now. I'm not an agent, so that's definitely not why I say this, but when you purchase from an agent or if you must purchase online, purchase directly from the company's website, they feel that you (or the agent) have shown a loyalty to them, and in turn, they will treat you differently.

Good luck, Sandi. I sincerely hope they come to their senses and compensate you...not just for the family's bad behavior, but for the cruise staff's as well.

[Jeanie821]

Sandi...

While I've never been on a cruise, I have been in situations while traveling when co-travelers have been less than ideal.

First, the parents were highly - HIGHLY - irresponsible in bringing their mentally disabled adult daughter (I refuse to use the word "child" in this situation) on a cruise if her behavior was that uncontrolled. I agree with the person who said that the family should have been put off at the next port of call and left to find their own way home... if any air carrier would take Katie at all. (The cargo hold comes to mind.)

Second, if - IF - the purser didn't put them off, at least Katie should have been confined to the family's quarters.

Finally, no matter what should have been done at that time, certainly you are due a refund (or a free, Katie-less trip) from the cruise line! (While you're at it, ask for combat pay!)

[DCTravelAgent]

You know I read this original post quite some time ago - but I just wanted to post this.....

So last week I saw (again) the Anne Bancroft/Patty Duke version of "The Miracle Worker". Does anyone remember the scene where Helen is just walking around the breakfast table taking whatever she wants from everyone else's plate?

[Guest_Cruiser_*]

We have done many cruises and never had table compagnions like the ones referred to here.
However we have wanted to change tables and when we ask for a change it's always to the other sitting! So if you meet your former table compagnions you have a reason which saves everybody's pride and self esteem.
On our last cruise we had a call from the Maitre d' as soon as we were in our cabin after checking in - the rest of the guests at our assigned table were Spanish speakers and perhaps we would like to change. We would and had some marvellous table compagnions. So the cruise lines can be pro-active.
Good luck with the next cruise - you will a much better time next time.

[bigboofer]

Your cruise line totally let you down with their absured responce to you request.

Most ships today have more than one dining room which results in vacant seats at various tables each evening. I would have accepted (and prefer) dining at a new table meeting new people each evening or the could have sent you to the premium dining room at their cost until they resolved the problem.

Cruise lines spend large sums to get you on their ships and expect to keep you cruise after cruise with great service. When they fall down and don't fix the problem it costs them the easy money from repeat customers.

As Chris can tell you the lack of a simple refund from a cruise THEY cancelled has cost one of the super premium cruise lines at least one booking a year for who knows how many years (two and counting).

[Frank]

First of all...what cruise line treated you so poorly so all of us know to avoid them?

Having to be slightly inconvenienced & patient with a disabled passenger is understandable. However, such abusively rude behavior which adversely affects other passengers should not be tolerated...nor should any employee have to tolerate it either!

No matter what the disability, the lack of action by the parents is unacceptable & it’s no surprise why she was so disruptive. Not only did they not get involved with controlling her, they had the audacity to imply that it was everyone else’s fault for ‘discriminating’ against the disabled. The parent’s attitude would have produced a brat even if she didn’t have a disability by allowing her to infringe upon others rights to not be abused.

I need to know what cruise line treated you so callously by not doing anything & expecting you to solve THEIR problem. Since her parents were unwilling to use common sense to deal with their daughter’s disruptive behavior by either dining in the buffet or in their room, then the cruise line should have told them those were their dining options. Switching them to another table by themselves probably would not have solved the problem as she would have probably just abused those in adjacent tables but it would have eliminated your problem. Unfortunately another employee would have had to deal with the family whether they were moved to another table or to their room, so having them dine in the buffet would have been the best solution to the problem short of having them removed from the ship.

However the cruise line should not have just ignored their problem by allowing you to be abused or for you to have to work around it. The ship should not have suggested that you use alternative dining options as you didn’t cause the disruption & you deserved to be able to eat peacefully in the dining room.

Please let us know what cruise line & ship you experienced such poor customer service which refused to come up with a fair solution for the abuse you were suffering. Hopefully you will eventually be treated fairly & will find someone in the cruise line to compensate you for your poor experiences which were complicated by crew complacency with your problem.

All the cruise line did was “add insult to injury” which is unacceptable…please help us to not make the same mistake of booking with that cruise line by telling us what cruise line did this to your family!

[NW CTC]

I just wanted to address a statement made by travel@razorbackroad about cruises costing more when booked through an agent - that's definitely not so. Most cruise lines are acting to "level the playing field" by making the same fares applicable to all forms of distribution.

Some agencies or agency groups may have different block rates or perks available but it should not come down to a question of the cruise fare being determined by whether the cruise is booked on line or not.

I hope that's not wayyyy more than you wanted to know on that issue. :rolleyes:

[bigboofer]

Originally posted by NW CTC@Jul 12 2005, 08:04 PM
I just wanted to address a statement made by travel@razorbackroad about cruises costing more when booked through an agent - that's definitely not so. Most cruise lines are acting to "level the playing field" by making the same fares applicable to all forms of distribution.

Some agencies or agency groups may have different block rates or perks available but it should not come down to a question of the cruise fare being determined by whether the cruise is booked on line or not.

I hope that's not wayyyy more than you wanted to know on that issue. :rolleyes:
4076


I would agree with this post. The ONLY way to book a cruise is with an experienced travel agent who knows the ins and outs of each cruise line.

I've booked one cruise directly with the line and was treated as a second class in all respects. The only thing I saved was money for the line.

Find a good travel agent and use them for all your expensive travel and you will not be disappointed. And remember that a good relationship is a two way street. If your agent is always adding fees when you a booking a lot of high commission travel such as cruises you may want to review the relationship.

[Hippo]

Hi Sandi:
What happened to you is really inexcusable. I would definitely pursue it further with the cruiseline...writing continous letters, not just e-mails. Good luck with your next cruise!

[Flipper]

I am still shocked over all the mishandling of your miserable dining experience. After more than 50 cruises myself I have some tales to tell & at this point I look back & some are actually humorous, but your experience will never fit in that category. After we sailed on a Royal Caribbean ship from Acapulco to San Juan over the Christmas holidays a few years ago, they instituted a guest behavior policy & also made their solarium pool areas for adults over 16. A large group from Mexico which had boarded in Acapulco basically took over the ship, let their kids run wild (some kids were in fact in cabins on deck 2 while parents were in balcony cabins up on deck 7 & 8), destroyed art work, took kids in diapers in the jacuzzis, kids were running around unescorted at 1am, etc. Letters were written & all other guests received a 50% off coupon for a future cruise in any category on the ship. The next time I sailed I saw that the solarium was off limits to children (so adults would have some place to go) & that there were very specific guest guidelines for behavior. This cost the cruise line a great deal & they wanted to put some safeguards in effect for the future. While we were on the ship the 650 people were unmanageable even with extra security guards & the situation got out of control. The rules are in place to make sure it doesn't happen in the future & guests know that if they sign the contract they are subject to the rules.
As for your dining table, you were too kind. I would have left during the 1st dinner & not returned to that table. I would have immediately involved the maitre 'd, guest relations, the Hotel Director, anyone who would listen. Some arrangeuent should have been made to move those guests to a table of their own, or they should have had to dine in their cabin. That type of disruption of other guests is just not acceptable. I know the suggestion has been made to request to dine alone, but it is not guaranteed as there are very few tables for 2 in the regular dining room on typical cruise ships. And perhaps you would have enjoyed meeting some other people anyway. If you had many cruises with this line you would have been more likely to receive a table for 2.
The parents do have a tough job taking care of this adult child & I do feel for them. But they cannot be allowed to ruin other guests vacations or dining experience. The employees of the ship handled this inappropriately, or rather they did not handle it at all.
I hope you will try another cruise. They really are wonderful!

[trojan]

As bad as this deal was, I am sitting here imagining the "challenged" young "lady" negotiating a buffet line.

Food fight!

:P

[travel]

Originally posted by NW CTC@Jul 12 2005, 07:04 PM
I just wanted to address a statement made by travel@razorbackroad about cruises costing more when booked through an agent - that's definitely not so. Most cruise lines are acting to "level the playing field" by making the same fares applicable to all forms of distribution.

Some agencies or agency groups may have different block rates or perks available but it should not come down to a question of the cruise fare being determined by whether the cruise is booked on line or not.

I hope that's not wayyyy more than you wanted to know on that issue. :rolleyes:
4076




I didn't mean to imply that using an agent is always more expensive, and I apologize if that was the impression I gave. Sandi's original e-mail seemed to indicate that she found the online pricing less expensive and chose to book that way. My intention was to support the use of agents completely, when they are cheaper AND when they are more expensive because the help of an agent is usually worth the extra IF you have to pay extra. I've paid more than an online price before and less than an online price, and with one exception, always had very good service and assistance from the agents when I needed them. Personally, I think you can usually find a cheaper price, but it's all about the service that you want. Thanks for clarifying for anyone else that might have taken my comment as agents are always more expensive.

[NW CTC]

Dear Traveller -

Thanks for clarifying your post and your input on the value of service (and agents). It's much appreciated! Have a great weekend.

[Ray]

You can't do anything about what happened, but I highly recommend taking a Windstar Cruise. Rarely, if ever are there any children aboard, and the passengers are usually "civilized".

[missalf]

Yo, Sandi,

Any update on your situation? Have you gotten any satisfaction from the cruise line?

Inquiring minds want to know! :D

[smwatk]

I hope you will post back and let us know if anything further gets resolved. The cruise line does owe you something. Yes, the cruise line will say they couldn't help that "Katie" and her parents were on board,and that's correct. But they COULD have handled it so you were not subjected to what you were.

As others have noted, it was the troublesome family that should have been served in their cabin, though I've no doubt they would have made a scene. If that didn't work, then they could certainly have moved the family to a small table and found other passengers willing to enlarge their table to add you and your husband. That seems pretty much a no-brainer to me, given the flexiblity of table sizes in a ship's dining room and the obliging nature of most other passengers once they know of a need.

My daughter-in-law's brother is a mentally challenged adult, age 39. Jim has been taken many places by his family over the years and knows well how to behave in even upscale dining situations. He can be a fine dining companion. When he occasionally gets out of bounds, his father immediately takes him away from the table. As also noted by another writer, don't judge all with mental disabilities by the family you encountered.

Travel agents take seriously being advocates for our clients; had you booked through a professional travel agency, storefront or homebased, and let your agent know of the situation after the first night, you can bet he or she would have gone to bat with you with the cruise line for correction during the cruise and recompense after!

[Rich G-H]

Originally posted by Sandi@Apr 3 2005, 05:12 PM
My husband and I took a cruise on a major line last year. This was something special we had planned since when we were married we really didn't get a honeymoon.
All was well until we met our tablemates for dinner. There was a single fellow, two older ladies traveling together, and a family of three. The family was the problem. This family consisted of two adults in their late 50s and their daughter who was in her late 20s or early 30s who clearly had some kind of mental problem.
The first night, the daughter (I will call her "Katie") threw a fit when her entree was not in the first group that was delivered. She actually reached across the table and screamed at me, and then put her fist into my vegstables, grabbed some and shoved them in her mouth. The parents did NOTHING. They didn't even apologize. When her food came, she settled down and ate, but the father told the waiter to make sure her food came out first in the future.
After that night, my husband went to the Matre'd and asked if we could be reseated. He explained his concerns but was told all seatings were full. The Matre'd did promise to speak to the family privately and see if there was anything they could do to make the daughter more comfortable. So, we went back the next night.
This time, things were worse, and our other tablemates were not present, so it was just us and this family. My husband ordered a bottle of wine for the two of us before the family arrived. When they did, Katie grabbed the bottle and poured herself some in her water glass. Her mother laughed, but didn't apologize. She then went on to brag about how they take Katie everywhere with them, and how people are so rude to her and not sympathetic to her condition.
Dinner was served and Katie grew impatient when the busboy didn't keep her soda filled to the brim. She would take a sip or two, then fuss until he came to refill it. Again, her parents pretended this didn't happen. Then the entrees came out...the waiter was careful to bring Katie's first, and then the rest of us waited, and waited. When ours finally came out, they were cold. Katie thought this was hysterical and threw her garnish at my husband, leaving a nasty smear mark on his shirt. We excused ourselves, left our food, and walked out of the restaurant.
After getting something to eat from the poolside buffett, and missing out on the filet mignon that I really wanted, we went to the Pursuer's desk to see if anything could be done. He again said that seatings were full, and that we were not the first to complain about this family. He offered to send our meals to our cabin, and we told him we'd give it one more day. He also said that he would speak with the family.
The following night was the last straw. Katie's family was already seated when we arrived, and the table was made considerably smaller (I guess the others were just not coming back). Katie was seated next to me and her father. When the salad arrived, her mother made a snotty remark about people who don't understand special needs children. I smiled and bit my tongue. Then Katie decided that she had had enough of her salad and dumped it on my lap. She laughed as I nearly broke into tears as my gown was drenched in olive oil! My husband and I returned to our cabin and called the Pursuer again. He said he'd send our meal up right away, get my gown cleaned, and apologized. I begged him to find us another table, another seating, another dining room for the last four nights. He said we were his "top priority."
Unfortunately, because this was a cruise during the holiday season, it was packed. He wasn't able to do that for us, and the rest of the week we ate dinner in our cabin. It was quite a disappointment from the cruise-dining room atmosphere we really wanted.
Incidentally, we spoke with our former tablemates. They had all just decided to find other places on the ship to eat. And one final note, on the following day at sea, we saw Katie at the pool screaming at small children because she wanted to use the waterslide, and was told she had to wait. Nothing was done about this, either--by her parents or the cruise staff.
I don't know that the cruise line could have done anything for us, or if there are any guidelines on cruise ships for guest behavior. I understand that Katie had problems, but it is clear that her parents just let her behave however she'd like--throwing food, screaming, etc--without any regard for anyone else on the ship.
Talk about a "dream vacation." And I'm sure someone out there will say how difficult it is to have an adult child with special needs, but I'm not faulting Katie for being disabled. I'm faulting her parents for her atrocious behavior, since they ignored it consistently.
Any suggestions? Any way to prevent this from happening again?
193

[Rich G-H]

Originally posted by Rich G-H@Sep 19 2005, 09:13 AM
9590

Oops! Excuse the previous reply. I hit the wrong option. As far as cruising and table mates is concerned may I suggest forming a group of people that you know. Although this does not completely eliminate bad or rude table mates it does reduce the odds.

[Ned]

My wife and I were on an Alaskan cruisetour this past summer. The land tour portion was terrific and we met several couples with whom we all quickly bonded.

Aboard ship we had all been assigned separate tables for dinner. One couple with whom we got especially friendly were sitting with relatives who only came for the cruise portion of our trip. Their table only accommodated four people. Our table was for six. The first two nights the other four at our table never showed and we were left alone.

We spoke with our friends and their family (brother and sister in law) and decided we would try to get our seating changed so the six of us could be together at dinner. We were taking many excursions together etc. from the ship and were often together at other meals. The ship was packed by the way.

The Matre 'd and his assistant told us it would be difficult because the dining room was completely assigned, but he'd try. The assistant told us, don't worry he'd take care of it. Well he/they did. The assistant talked the other four (a family it turned out) at our table into moving to our friends table so they could move to our table. They showed up that night for dinner and when they went to their new table they complained and wanted to go back to ours. The Matre 'd then offered to move them downstairs in the dining room and that pleased them. He manuvered tables on the lower floor of the dining room so he could fit the table for four in.

Meanwhile we got to sit with our new friends for the remainder of the voyage which was great. We later found out that the family only came to one more dinner in the dining room. They didn't want to put on anything but jeans and a T-shirt. We saw them one evening before our dinner eating at the poolside grill. We had seen what they looked like in the dining room.

The point of this is while the ship was packed, all the seats in the dining room assigned and changing anything would be difficult, the dining room crew were willing and worked to help us improve our cruise. To not have immediately helped you out of your terrible problem on your cruise was inexcusable. The crew had alternatives to help you. Frankly, they were either too lazy or poorly trained. Even though it might have inconvenienced the family, as they couldn't or wouldn't control the situation they should have been asked to have their meals in a different dining room or in their cabin if no other solution was available. Anything short of that is unacceptable.